First Post

First Post of my New Blog.

I shut down my first blog because.. Well frankly there was just too much drama.

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  And no, I'm not a "real" mom.  So yesterday kind of sucked for me.  I have two FURbabies, "they" got me a mother's day card.  But it's just not the same.  Not that I'm ungrateful because I did cry.  Just in other people’s eyes, being a FURmom doesn't count. 

North Star (Husband/how I find my way home) and I had dinner with his parents and his sister and her son.  Of course my MIL and SIL got gifts because they're REAL mothers.  But I didn't get any acknowledgements.  Why am I being a sap about this?!?  Ugh, I'm just frustrated people. 

When will I be a real mom?  I want it so badly.  We want it so badly!  It's been almost a year since we went on a break from TTC.  North Star keeps asking me when will I make an appointment with our RE.  As much as I want to have a child, I'm scared shitless!  I just don't think I can handle being disappointed again.  Last year, after all the fertility testing, we did 2 IUIs (all we had money left for).  2 FAILED IUIs.  The medicine made me a mad woman and then to top it off, having the disappointment of negative pregnancy test made me super depressed. 

It's a 50/50 chance.  And I'm just going to have to suck it up.  I'll post on here if I do decide to go back to my RE.

Always,
AStarLightDreamer