Late Post... My Bad

A million thoughts have been running through my head since Dr. S called me back with the results of my ultrasound.  I was nervous as hell for my MRI.

The MRI wasn’t all that bad.  But that’s all thanks to the nurse that did it.  She was so sweet and funny, I just wanted to be her friend.  She gave me a washcloth to put over my eyes so I wouldn’t be able to see the machine around me and become claustrophobic.  Even though I know I’m not claustrophobic, it really helped to have my eyes covered.  The only uncomfortable part was that it’s hot as fuck in that machine!  But to my surprise, I fell asleep in there… TWICE!  Sure the machine was loud but the noises it made was a constant noise; and that’s how I can fall asleep.  I can’t sleep in dead silence.  Even if our house is cold, I have to have a fan on.  Just because of the constant noise it makes.

MRI was on Wednesday the 15^th.  Friday the 17^th Dr. S called me and explained that the MRI results show that it is in fact a dermoid cyst, the size of an orange!  WTF!?!?  Since it’s so big she said that I’ve had it for over 5 years.  And now since it’s bigger than what they thought, I can’t have the “simple” outpatient surgery we were already planning on having.  I have to have basically a c-section.  A c-section without a baby.  FML!  Oh and the cyst is IN my right ovary!!!  So there might be a chance that I'll lose it.

My pre-operation meeting with the Dr was this past Tuesday the 21^st.  SURGERY IS TOMORROW!!! Friday the 24^th.  Nervous has hell!  Dr. B (my original RE) is going to be doing my surgery.  Dr. B said that his main goal is to remove the cyst and not take my ovary.  He said he will slice my ovary, peel it back, and make a hole in the cyst and suck the fluid from it so it'll shrink down and make minimal damage to my ovary so he can repair it and I can keep it.  I have to spend at least one night in the hospital.  Plus side is that Northern Starr can stay with me in my hospital room.  That they have a pull out bed for husbands to sleep on, so the wives are more comfortable and at ease knowing someone they love is there with them.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.  I’ll keep yall posted.

Bad News...

My ultrasound was yesterday.  We left feeling confident.  The tech said that she thinks she caught my right ovary on camera; she just needs the radiologist to confirm.  My Dr should have the results Tuesday or Wednesday.

Dr. S called me this morning.  The results are in.  I have (what they think is) a dermoid cyst either in front of, or ON my right ovary and this is the reason why no doctor has ever seen it.  The next step is to have an MRI, which is scheduled for August 15^th.  The MRI will confirm what type of cyst it is.  Dr. S said that dermoid cyst are benign, and that I will need to have surgery to remove it since they can’t “go away” on its own, and since it’s pretty big.

I’m scared.  I’m heartbroken too.  Dr. S said that this cycle is out of the question now.  I can still take the Provera to shed all the lining I still have.  But I cannot take the Clomid.  I’ve never spent the night in the hospital before.  I mean, I have for other people, but never for myself.  I’ve heard different stories though.  The surgery could be a simple outpatient procedure, or I might have to spend the night there.  I guess we’ll learn more about this as we go.

I’m trying to remember… But I think an ex-coworkers daughter had a dermoid cyst.  And once she had it removed, she and her husband had a baby… NATURALLY!  Let’s hope this is the case for us too!

So we’re OUT.  Literally. L

Back at the REs

So we had our first RE appointment of this year!!!  Good news and bad news.  I’d like to end this post on a good note, so I’ll start with the bad news first.

*Note:  Our REs office has 3 different doctors.  And they all see each others patients if the clients primary doctor isn’t available.  There’s Dr. S (the only female in the practice), Dr. W, and Dr. B (our RE).*

BAD NEWS:  I asked Dr. S at our visit if we could talk about doing injectables or a combination of clomid and injectables, and if there’s a possibility of doings 2 IUI procedures in the same cycle.  She “checked me” (so uncomfortable, I had to practice my deep breathing to help me from not tensing up).  She still wasn’t able to see my right ovary.  None of the doctors in the practice can see my right ovary.  All possibilities of me doing any medicated cycle with injectables goes out the window.  Our doctors would prefer us to not have anything more than twins.  My left ovary was full!  50+ follicles!!  Oh Mylanta!  So even more so Dr. S doesn’t want to take the chance of giving me injectables L.  She did recommend that I make an appointment with Radiology to have an ultrasound to make sure my right ovary is okay.  Just because no one has ever seen it.  But even if Radiology can see it, if my REs can’t see it, we can’t do injectables.

GOOD NEWS:  My 50+ follicles!  Of course they weren’t mature, but I have A LOT of possible babies in there!  Hooray!  AND Dr. S prescribed me Provera because she saw a lot of lining in my uterus that needs to be shed. Greaaaat…. Can’t you just hear all that sarcasm in my tone?  And then I start the Clomid.  I’ll get monitored on CD14, where they’ll see if my follicles are mature enough and how many of them there are.  Looks like we’re going to have to just go off of what is seen in my left ovary.  If IUI is a go, they’ll give me the trigger shot to take home and take whenever they tell me, and then go in to do my IUI.  We’ve decided that we’re not going to do the 2 IUIs back to back this cycle.  Because Northern Star doesn’t need to do another SA, we want to see what his count will be this time around.  And if it doesn’t look good we’ll do the 2 back to back in the next round.

So happy we’re starting up again.  But we are keeping things to ourselves.  Our parents don’t even know!  A few close friends of ours are the only ones who know.  And of course all of you lovely people.

Lots of love!

Sabrina Starr

I Did It!

I called our REs office and scheduled an appointment. 

Northern Starr was supposed to call and make the appointment because I was just too nervous to do it.  But I did.  Yesterday was my birthday.  And I bet you all know what I wished for when I blew out those candles.  I have to be more productive if we really want a baby.  And we REALLY want a baby!!!

The appointment is scheduled for next Monday.  It's a freakin week away!!!  And Dr B isn't going to be doing my exam because he's working this weekend to do any procedures (IVF, IUI, monitoring).  So I'll be getting "checked" by another doctor, a lady doctor.  The receptionist said that because it's been over a year since we were last there, we will have to do some test.  Just give me the provera and inject ables and lets get this party started!! :-)

Northern Starr

I was born and raised in Hawaii and Northern Starr was born in North Carolina but raised all over because he’s a “military brat” his dad was in the Air Force.  And his last duty station was in Hawaii.  But we didn’t meet then.

After September 11^th, Northern Starr joined the Army.  After attending boot camp and all his MOS schooling, he was stationed in Korea for 2 years.  We met in a Hawaii chat room, he was in there because he just got word that his next duty station is Hawaii.  Will chatted and talked on the phone basically every day for the 2 months before he was finally stationed in Hawaii.  We met at the airport, and I took him to his base.  It’s been non-stop since then. 

So yes, we’ve known each other for well over 8 years now.  We were never non-stop dating since we first met.  We were both young (I was still a teenager when we first met) and we wanted to experience life, not be tied down.  But deep down inside, we both knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  We just needed to grow up.  He took longer than I did lol. 

Well now we live in Virginia.  It’s where his parents are.  I moved and left everything and everyone I knew to be with him.  And let me tell you… he is so unbelievably worth it!  I came across a quote on Pinterest the other day and it is exactly him.

“If he… makes you laugh.  Kisses your forehead.  Says he’s sorry.  Makes an effort.  Holds your hand.  Works hard.  Attempts to understand you. …then, believe it or not, he’s quite perfect.”

Yup, that’s my hubby!  God, I love this man!!!!

It's Been Awhile...

This cycle was a fail.  Let me tell you, it’s pretty hard to keep positive.  I know last post I said that if this cycle failed then we’d call our RE and start having medicated cycles.  I was pretty confident then about this last cycle working.  I’m dreading going back to Dr B.  Don’t get me wrong, we LOVE him.  He’s so sweet and encouraging and doesn’t make me feel like all he wants is our money LOL! 

Dr B’s office is an hour and a half drive from our town.  The town we live in is pretty big and has RE’s, but Northern Starr and I tried out Dr. B because the center he works for is well known, has excellent reviews… plus their website has a little “get to know us” section.  I know that shouldn’t really count, but I liked that everyone who works in that office (even the receptionist) had their picture up with a little biography.  Not like most medical center websites where they only list things about the Drs.  Knowing more about the lady who always answers when I call there, who checks me in, who takes my co-pay… makes me feel more at ease and I kinda feel like I can talk to her about anything.  I know it’s weird but that’s just me ha-ha!

So back to me being unsure about going back to Dr B’s.  I haven’t told Northern Starr yet but I think I want to wait another month and start going back in August.  And I think when we go back; I want to try the inject ables.  I’m scared of needles, but I’ve read some stuff about it and I think it would help us more than just being on Clomid.  He’ll be understanding, but also a little disappointed about waiting another month.  Ugh, maybe I should just do it already, make the call.

Have any of you tried the inject ables?

She's Here!!!

So AF came on her own.  Which she has been but it’s been ALL OVER the place.  From January to mid-April she was off and on, but I did bleed at least once each week during this time frame.  Damn you, irregular periods!!!

But this time…. 43 days of no bleeding, not even spotting.  And she came, and it’s pretty steady so far.  So I’ve made the decision to start temping, charting and peeing on those ovulation test strips.  Northern Starr doesn’t know.  Not that he’d be upset, he’s very understanding… he knows that now after taking such a long break that I don’t want anyone to know we’re trying again.  I just felt like a failure last time.  Everyone knew, and everyone always asked about our treatments.  And then I had to tell EVERYONE that it didn’t work.  It won’t take Northern Starr long to find out that I’m charting again, I mean he will see the ovulation strips in the trash can!

With that being said, if we don’t get pregnant this cycle then we will call our RE and start doing medicated cycles again.  Timing sucks with medicated cycles, summer is so hot where we live, and the medication gives me hot flashes!  Oh joy!!!

Until next time,

Sabrina Starr